I want to make a zoo with you.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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