never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
