He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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