WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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