Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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