How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
