"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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