How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
