3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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