My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize