Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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