The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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