Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
