Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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