Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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