in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
