I would go down on you faster than GM stock
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
