It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
