hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
