You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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