goodnight i made you a song goodbye
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
