so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
