too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
