Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
