I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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