The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
