if you like me you must not know who I am
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
