She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
