Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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