Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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