I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i think i have herpe
just one?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
