weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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