Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
