he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Randomize
