She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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