"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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