Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Randomize
