I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
