see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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