I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
zippers are such a cool invention
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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