I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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