I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
