You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
