They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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