why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
