so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
