you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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