Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
