3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
