I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
