oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Houston, we have a blender
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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