so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
