watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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