one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
