I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
