Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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