I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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