just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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