he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
did i just pee glitter
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
