Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
