and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize