Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
