The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
